Saturday, May 17, 2014

Hop Against Homophobia and Transphobia 2014

Welcome to the hop which is part of the International Day Against Homophobia and Transphobia. Below, you'll find a link to all participating blogs, and over the next few days, you'll have a chance to win various prices (ends on May 27th). Details on the giveaway on this blog follow after the post as well.

Blogs taking part in the Hop Against Homophobia and Transphobia



The sky isn’t falling, and that was never the question (thoughts on the origin of opposition to equal marriage)

“Arguments” against equal marriage, concepts that have already been proven wrong, are frustrating, because they seem so ridiculous no matter from which angle we look at them. The countries and states who have decided for marriage equality don’t suffer from any of the consequences the opponents have warned about. It’s not the end of the world, except…wait. While equal marriage doesn’t redefine marriage, at least not for most of us, it does shine a spotlight on the ideas that we, LGBT or straight, have about marriage in the first place.

Do we think of it as a loving and lifelong commitment between two adult and consenting people? Or is it at its core a contract where a woman is traded from one patriarch to another?

Trying to enable people to change hearts and minds requires an open conversation. Not everyone will agree to have that conversation, and when you look at those who cling to the idea that equal rights for the LGBT community are detrimental to society, you’ll find a certain pattern, the perception of the world through the lenses of patriarchy. From that point of view, equal marriage, between women and men, and two people of the same gender, really means the end of the world, because change is seen and sold as dangerous.

For a long time, it baffled me that some refuse to question privilege and prejudice, no matter how many happy healthy LGBT couples and families you show them, until I made the connection. We might not be able to convince everyone with facts, science or faith, but on the bright side, fighting homophobia and transphobia means to fight an antiquated system that has been harming people, but especially women and minorities for centuries.

As humans, we’re overdue for a change.

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Giveaway: Comment on this post, and you can enter the giveaway to win one of my books in ebook form (winner's choice). 

17 comments:

  1. I disagree here. Whenever we want to change hearts and minds, we have to understand and respect the person first. If we call people ridiculous for disagreeing with us, we turn off their willingness to listen. Sure, it's frustrating, but how else will we bring about change?

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    1. Hi Anastasia! Thanks for commenting. I'd like to clarify a bit. I'm aware that there are some who need to hear stories and facts, and will work through their concerns that way. Being blessed with friends and family who provide an accepting environment, is a privilege in itself, and not everyone has that. However, there are people who are very much aware of what they are doing, and who they are harming, and they do it *deliberately*. They have heard stories, they know the truth, and they are still throwing money and power behind their ideology. With lies, against facts. There is a wrong and a right in this. The change IMO is to vote or buy someone else's products. I see your point too, though, and it's not always easy to make that decision whether a conversation is worth continiuing, or whether it's become so toxic you need to find other ways.

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  2. Barbara, thanks so much for taking part in the hop!

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    1. Thank you for letting me be a part of it!

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  3. I don't think she was calling them ridiculous, only that it seems ridiculous to those who don't follow the belief systems. It is true, what is being fought so hard and yes, so bloodily for, is the maintenance of a patriarchial system of marriage whereby women are still being passed from one male to the other, albeit it symbolically in many countries. The same rules that attract this mindset find the concept of a democratic relationship between men and women find the idea of same sex marriage abhorrent because they cannot and will not think beyond the box of male as head of household and wife as housemaid. Sorry, but it is true, and I have seen this firsthand. Women have very little rights in many parts of the world, and despite our enlightenment, there is a faction here in the USA trying to return to this form of marriage. We should all be afraid of this movement, because it leaves women as 2nd class citizens and GLBT persons as targets for discrimination, and yes, elimination. It is happening now all over the world. Are we the scapegoat for an imploding world? Yes, I think it is. We are destroying the planet and the majority refuses to admit it is their policies that is doing it.

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    1. I agree, and it is frustrating to see this happening. We know all the facts and stats, yet it seems like too often people who happily ignore them slip into power. In a way, patriarchy is ridiculous, I believe that, because it claims things have to stay a certain way, always, even though reality says otherwise. Sadly, we can't simply laugh it off, because it has such a profound and damaging effect on many people's lives. Whether some people believe women should dress a certain way, not be allowed to have an education, or equal pay for equal word doesn't matter, it leads to the same core, just the expression differs.

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  4. I have long felt that at their roots, homophobia and transphobia are really misogyny. Homophobes hate gay men because the homophobe cannot abide the idea of one man lying down for another. A male homophobe fears being overpowered by a gay man, because that turns him into no better than a woman. And for a man to willingly "become a woman" (I mean this both in terms of a man allowing himself to be penetrated as well as in terms of a male to female transgendering) is completely unacceptable. For women to "choose" to set men aside as lesbians, or for a female to male transgendered person to "aspire" to manhood is equally appalling to the homo/transphobe. There is nothing worse in the world (in this mindset) than for a man to become a woman. There is nothing worse in the world than being a woman. And all the uncertainty that comes with admitting that the gender binary is invented...? No WAY can these folks handle THAT. It might mean that they are already, in some small way, women.

    As for female homo/transphobes... sigh. There's a lot going on there, but at it's root, it's still internalized misogyny, IMO.

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    1. "There is nothing worse in the world than being a woman." The motto and the problem of patriarchy. I once saw a comment on some article that scoffed about the feminists who would come on the thread and claim it's all about that, and I thought, well, that's because it is. The chain of evidence always leads you to the basic idea.

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  5. I liked your message at the end. "As humans, we’re overdue for a change." It's really high time to work for some change in the society, its believe and its rules.

    ladyunwritten[AT]gmail[DOT]com

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    1. Thank you, and I agree. We've come a long way, but there's still a long way to go.

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  6. Thanks for being a part of the hop. :)

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  7. Awesome post. Thank you for taking part in the hop[ and for being a voice against homophobia and transphobia.

    humhumbum AT yahoo DOT com

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  8. I've enjoyed reading the comments on this post. And I agree with your last line... we are overdue for a change!
    MHupp20032003(at)yahoo(dot) com

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  9. the way to conduct any argument is to agree with the other person as much as you can, even if you mean something entirely different. otherwise you just turn them off to anything you might say.

    lena.grey.iam@gmail.com

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  10. Thanks for post and hop.
    cvsimpkins@msn.com

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  11. I enjoyed your post. Thanks for being part of the hop.
    sstrode at scrtc dot com

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  12. In my country most people really got convinced after the discrimination against same sex marriages was abolished.
    Thanks for joining us in the hop.

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